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| I was talking to my dad recently, and he asked me what I did this summer. My little brother went to Argentina for a month. And my older brother went camping for a week. What did I do this summer? And so I told him and he said "Oh. That's it?"  Made me want to bawl.
UIUC Summer School - This sucks! School in the summer is the worst idea. If you don't need it, don't take it. If you are taking summer classes as an excuse to stay on campus over the summer, take classes at Parkland. Or just have a better attitude than me. I have to retake this class. After my final, I was BAWLIN.
CFC Summer School - I went on missions this summer! My mission field was 3rd grade students. The kids are so pure in heart. I really had soo much fun. Ms. Liana would always be yelling at the kids (because she's mean) but I would always be laughing with them. There would be times when the kids were getting in trouble, but I would continue to joke around and laugh with them. I just get along with kids. I think because I'm just really immature myself.
I taught basketball 3 times a week. One thing that sticks out is overhearing my kids talk about who is the best in the class. After they ranked each other they said, "But Mr. Ray is the best!" I was so happy. Then immediately after one kid said "But actually God is the best!" And everyone agreed. I guess they are right. They haven't even seen God play basketball. But God must be BALLIN.
There was a girl named Erica. I taught her to say "Mr. Ray is a beast!" She was actually featured in the video during the missions presentation. I was talking to her one day and I asked if her parents were Christian. She said no. She told me her dad wasn't Christian and neither was her grandfather. But then with the biggest smile, she reassured me that it would be ok because she was Christian. I was BAWLIN. I tried to hide it. My dad isn't Christian either. I need a better attitude with childlike faith.
CFC Summer League - The Houston Rockets were BALLIN. We had amazing defense. No team score more than 20 points on us. We ran the break well. We really played team ball. If you look at our stat sheets, our numbers were very balanced. We the number one seed going into the playoffs. Unfortunately, we were unable to shake off the curse of the number one seed. We lost in the Elite Elight to the Champs. I had two chances to win the game. The first in overtime and the second in double overtime. After the game, I took those shots again. Butter. I didn't miss it. Looking back, I really believe God goal tended those shots. He didn't want us to win. He had a bigger plan. Fortunately, I was able to see a glimpse of it the next day. Our God is BIG.
JGen - I was asked to do Security. I agreed because I'm really good at doing work. As long as I am active, I enjoy doing the work. I thought it would be rent-a-cop training. I was completely wrong. The purpose of Security is to take care of everything else so that the students and speakers can focus on one less thing, and focus on God. I realized that similar to any team or assembly line, we all have a role. Some roles are more glorified than others in the eyes of men, but each role serve One purpose. With that in mind, I made the most of my serving opportunity. In the lunch lines, I tried to build relationships even though I had 30 seconds to talk to each student. We woke up at 7 and went to bed at 4 or later. Even though it was tiring, I knew that I spent all my energy serving God's people. When I went to bed, I did it with the purpose to get more energy to serve Him the next day. I actually have a couple funny stories to share from Jgen. But this entry is getting too long.
Because of my huge muscles, I was asked to do crowd control during worship. These kids really go all out and it was my job to make sure they don't break anything or anyone. As I was up there, I was able to look out at the pews and see the next generation of youth worship. I was BAWLIN. I really can't explain it. Whether it be hearing, a junior high boy prayer for the first time or seeing this girl worship so unashamed. She was actually pretty ridiculous. But in God's eyes, it was pure. Random songs started to make me bawl. Like Dancing Generation, My Future Decided, and The Time Has Come. They are all fast songs I know, but some key verse hit me. I was BAWLIN.
Oh yeah. One last thing. I saw Pastor Jong right before he was about to preach. I said Good Luck! What an idiot. Since when do pastors preach on luck? I bet P Jong was mad at me. Fortunately his sermon was BALLIN. He was BAWLIN. I was BAWLIN. He actually gave this sermon before, but I'm really spiritually young and the message didn't hit me until he simplified and shortened it for the youth. Heh.
Servants Retreat - They asked me to serve this year. Mistake. Jk. At least I hope not. I learned soo much about the church, about God, and about myself. Too much to list in fact. Hear are some key things. I respect the pastoral staff tremendously. I'm sorry for creating FCFC. I was stupid. I have discontinued FCFC and all its practices. I realized I have too much pride. Lastly, Caroline, Esther, and I are BALLIN. Pray you are in our small group.
EDIT
FCFC does not stand for First Covenant Fellowship Church. 
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| This is my brief mid-summer update. Math 415 is a very difficult class. It is also never used in any real world setting. CFC Summer School is amazing to say the least. The 3rd grade kids know I’m a beast. The Rockets are number 1 in Summer League. We are going to the ‘ship. I need this upcoming Lock-In. Disclaimer: This entry does not meet my standards. So I am fighting my heart to share. Be nice. Self-control. What’s that all about? Who needs it? I have no idea. So this should actually be the end of my entry because I don’t want to write about something that I know nothing about. That would be me trying to teach something I haven’t even learned yet. Instead I’m going to write exactly how much I don’t know about it. Moderation? Forget that. I want it all, and I want itnow. I want it my way. When I worked at Foot Locker, I became a shoe fanatic. I bought a different pair of shoes with every pay check. I don’t even wear them. It’s just to say I have them. I know. I am so cool. Don’t fall in love. Deny myself? How can I deny myself? If you were me, you couldn’t say no to me. At least if I were you, I couldn’t say no to me. I’m hard to resist. And if you can, the force is strong in you. Seriously though, how? It's like I'm playing myself in Rock, Paper, Scissors and losing. I tell myself every day, “you rack a disciprine!” But that’s as far as it goes. How do I control myself? I have no idea. I even went to extremes by thinking anything I wanted was wrong. I feel like when it comes to self-control my heart hardens, and I don’t want to change. With other things I feel like I am more teachable, but I guess I am my biggest fan. I unconditionally love myself. Can you blame me? I am my own chosen one. I’ve decided there is no specific way. But it actually will take lots of small actsof self-limitation to build a habit of self-control. So I’m going to periodically limit myself from certain things. Starting...now.
Matthew 16:25
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. EDIT Part 2 is coming... | | |
| After such a warm welcome back to Xanga, I was actually very
hesitant to live up to my word of my previous entry being the “first of
many.” I wasn’t expecting as many
e-props or more importantly comments.
Footprints show me that I have subscribers not only from
Champaign-Urbana, but all over the U.S. I even have a few subscribers who check my
Xanga daily when I haven’t updated.
To be honest, I started to fall in love with the meaningless
idea of two e-props. Also I was afraid
my entries following my come-back would not meet expectations, and so I had
thoughts of quitting. But my purpose is
to share. So this is round 2.
Warning: The entry
may be long and will not contain any pictures.
So read it when you have time for a novel.
Growing up, my parents had me participate in every possible
activity. To name a few, I did
everything from French horn, classical guitar, ping pong, tennis, to even
Japanese lessons. Unfortunately, I have
nothing to show for it. I quit
everything.
Although I wish I never quit any of those things, the one
thing I wish I had never quit on is relationships. The moment a relationship goes bad, I pull
myself away from it to avoid further complications.
But now, I’m going to quit quitting. I’m going to start by not quitting on
you. Oh snap, who is he talking about?
You refers to guy or girl looking over at your screen amazed
at sugar_ray_9’s freakishly long neck.
You refers to those like me who need an extra minute to
lookup the book of the Bible in the table of contents before each sermon.
You refers to those still bound by the chains of drugs and
alcohol.
You refers to my unbelieving father and to my
anything-but-normal family.
You refers to my brothers and sisters in Christ.
You refers to the same “you” Paul addresses in Galatians
5:13
You, my brothers, were called to be free.
But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one
another in love. Now that I successfully accomplished the complete opposite
of the first part of the verse, I am going to try to focus on the latter part
of the verse with the application from my previous entry. I know it will be hard
but, I know...
it takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with
plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not
whether
you avoid this failure, because you won't. It's whether you let it harden or shame you
into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere. That was taken from Barack Obama’s Northwestern University
Commencement Address. By now you will know, I do love a good
quote. "I can promise you that by the time we get through, the world will never ever be the same...this one's for you."
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| Someone once told me that I need to learn how to share. I think I'm finally going to put it into practice. I thought I'd ease my way into it through Xanga. Now that I'm kinda going to use this more often, I wish I had a cooler name, but I guess my current name will do. At least it's not xkoreanx blah blah blah.
My mom once told me to do my best in what ever circumstance I'm in. No matter what life throws at you, that you give 100%. To adapt. To never take shortcuts. When I was little, there was this shortcut my friends and I took to get to one another's houses. She always told me to go around and that one day I would understand. I've been thinking about this lately. The more I analyze myself and dig deep, I find myself in uncomfortable situations. I find flaws and compromising areas. And since I'm in these circumstances, I think for once I'm going to do it right. No more shortcuts or compromises.
Someonce else once told me that when the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Rocfella Records told me that we can't stop, won't stop....cause we get down baby, cause we get down.
Chumbawumba told me that when I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never going to keep me down.
Jack Johnson told me to sit, wait, and wish. But Jack Johnson is a moron. In fact, boycott Jack Johnson and his banana pancakes.
The Bible tells me I should never lose heart. It reminds me that inwardly I am renewed day by day by his grace. That there is an eternal glory that goes beyond my temporary troubles. And so I fix my eyes on what is unseen, on what is eternal.
I know, I know. Long post. No pictures. Ray, what's wrong with you? Are you gay? No no. It's just time I put things into practice. It's actually the secret to life. Put it into practice. So elementary, yet so difficult.
Sidenote: I actually was at a park one day. There were many runners and walkers. But one guy caught my eye. He was in jeans and a t-shirt. He wasn't really prepared for an afternoon workout. It just seemed like it had occurred to him that he needed to change his lifestyle. And he couldn't wait a moment longer. So he just ran.
So welcome to the mind of a menace. Feel free to make fun, criticize, or compliment. Just don't fall in love with me. 99.9% chance I'm not interested. And I'm definitely not down with a relationship that is sparked through the internet. This is not eHarmony.
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| Today, Luol Deng and I decided to go to Gurnee Mills together. Before we left for the mall, he insisted that I wear a matching blue shirt before we left just to avoid any confusion of our friendship. First, I casually denied and accused him of being gay, but then he did his Blood Diamond impression and so I couldn't resist.
Omgoodness, and then we saw Becky Kim at the mall, so she took this picture for us. Luo and I were pretty surprised to see Becky at Gurnee. So random! Luo then wished her luck in Africa. Sidenote : Luo sitting on the bench pictured above is taller than Becky standing.
Becky is kinda special. When we asked her to take a picture of us, she instead took a video clip of us. Luo and I thought it was hilarious.
The remainder of the day, Luo and I talked a little about all the trade rumors. I told him the Bulls wouldn't trade him and that I got his back. He said thanks.
Just another ordinary day... I can't believe I saw Becky!
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